In today’s consumer culture, a trip to the shops has become more than just a chance to buy the essentials of life. It’s become a leisure activity in itself - something to distract us from the routine of daily life. For parents in particular, advice on what to buy comes from all sides, from adverts on television, glossy catalogues, baby magazines and baby shows.
It seems that parenting has become just another excuse for buying even more. In part, it’s the consequence of a growing parental commitment to provide fun for our children. As parents, it’s hard to resist buying things that we’re convinced will keep our kids safe, happy, healthy and, above all, entertained. And there’s another reason why, as parents, we love to shop. With many parents working in isolation today - away from traditional family and community support systems - shopping is an ‘emotional prop’, to help relieve anxiety and self-doubts about our parenting skills.
Unfortunately, far from solving parental problems, consumerism can often make them worse. It can infiltrate the intimate relationship of child and parent and lead to a subtle undermining of parental authority. Above all, though, there’s a danger that by being keen consumers ourselves, we pass on our own consumption values to our children. By using shopping as a leisure activity, something to keep us occupied, we’re training our children to be ‘little shoppers’ too.
By resisting the temptation to use shopping as a distraction, you can help teach your child to resist it, too. Buy less, and you can focus on being a parent instead. You can also look forward to enjoying more time with your child - and that’s something that can’t be bought. Here are a few ideas on how parents can lead by example to encourage non-commercial values within the whole family.
Think before you shop. The claims made by baby products to make life easier may be tempting. However, a trip to the shops to buy the latest gadget will not necessarily make you a good parent. Nor will it provide the answers to your parenting dilemmas. Instead of heading to a shopping centre at the weekend, take the children for a family walk or picnic in the local park. They’ll appreciate your time far more than anything your money could buy.
Create rather than buy. Don’t rush out to buy the latest all-singing-all-dancing baby toys. Toys which are marketed as educational can often only serve to distance a parent from his or her child. Instead of visiting the toy shop, raid the recycling bin, or get out pens and paper and make something with your young child.
Keep family events simple. Christmas, Easter, holidays and family celebrations don’t have to be an excuse to spend. For example, fifty years ago, a child’s birthday party was fairly self-contained: friends were invited to enjoy homemade games and cake. By contrast, the commercial alternatives today are staggering in complexity and price.
Don’t buy if you can borrow. For children even of a very young age, a trip to the local library, or toy library is a real treat.
Christine Meadows is a highly regarded Parenting Consultant who works with families to teach the confidence and skills which are essential for raising a baby. Christine is available to give advice through individual telephone consultations and home visits. To contact Christine or to find out more about her work, telephone (01373) 451019 or visit her website at www.christinemeadows.com
